


Hero

by rebecca_selene



Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 00:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2672450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebecca_selene/pseuds/rebecca_selene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hercules and Iolaus make heroic plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hero

**Author's Note:**

> written for [](http://smallfandomfest.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://smallfandomfest.livejournal.com/)**smallfandomfest** 16\. I had so much fun writing this, oh my gosh.

“No.”

“Herc—“

“No.”

“But—“

“Absolutely not.”

“They’re counting on—“

“I’m all for the cause, but there’s no way I’m going that far.”

“The girls would love it.” Iolaus gave Hercules his best guilt-inducing look.

“Don’t you dare look at me that way. I don’t see you volunteering.”

“I don’t have nearly the stature to pull it off.”

Hercules snorted. “Beg all you like, Iolaus, but I am NOT dressing up like Xena!”

“But the students of the Ways of the Warrior Princess Academy need the encouragement!”

“I completely agree. That’s why they’re being taught to defend themselves and stick up for themselves and anyone else who needs help in the world.”

“They could use an icon.”

“They have Xena!”

“She’s not here right now. You are. Support among heroes is very encouraging.”

“I’m not a hero.”

“Oh please, yes you are. And you could be to those girls.” Iolaus stressed the look.

Hercules paused. “No.”

“Oh come on!”

“You dress up like Xena!”

“Stature, remember?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. I might be charming but that’s hardly going to help me with little girls.”

“Iolaus...”

“Xena would be here but she and Gabrielle are with the Amazons and won’t be back for ages.”

“Iolaus...”

“So it’s up to you to do the heroic thing and inspire those girls.”

“Iolaus...”

“And another thing—“

“IOLAUS!”

“WHAT?”

A pause. “You know, sometimes I could use a hero too.”

Iolaus blinked. “What?”

“You’re right that the girls are expecting us. You even have the right idea about how to boost them up. But I’m not doing it. So…I’m asking…will you do it?”

Iolaus opened his mouth to speak.

“Please? For me?”

Iolaus closed his mouth and sighed. “Damn you, Herc.” His eyes widened. “Wait, if Xena finds out, she’ll kill me!”

Hercules rolled his eyes. “You weren’t concerned about that when it was me putting on her clothes.”

“Well no, she couldn’t roll you into a discus and win the Olympic games with you in ten seconds flat!”

“Sixty seconds with me, at least.”

“You give yourself too much credit.”

“Says the guy who was calling me a hero just a few minutes ago.”

“I meant it. About that—“

“I’m not dressing up as Xena.”

Iolaus threw his hands into the air. “Fine! Fine! I’ll do it! Only for you, Herc, would I risk death and dismemberment.”

“And for the girls.”

“For anyone who needs saving.”

“Who’s the hero now?”

“Ha.” Iolaus tossed his head, throwing back his hair. “Do you think I’d make a beautiful woman, Herc?” he said in an affected voice.

Hercules laughed. “Only the best.”

Iolaus popped his hip to the side and swaggered forward with a sultry expression.

Hercules’ eyes widened. “Don’t go overboard. Xena really will kill you if she finds out you’ve been doing THAT in her name.”

Iolaus’ pose deflated. “Yeah. So what do I do once I’m dressed up?”

“Um…”

“We could pretend to fight each other.”

“Yeah…”

“And then we could—“

“Wait, no.”

“What?”

“It shouldn’t all be about fighting. It should be about…collaboration. Working together. Friendship. That kind of stuff.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, but add all that to ACTION!”

“Iolaus, we’re not exactly actors preparing to perform in Epidaurus…”

“Of course not. We’d need masks for that.”

Hercules shuddered. “Don’t make a mask of Xena’s face. Please.”

“Even I wouldn’t go that far.”

“That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all day.”

“My whole plan is sensible. Now who do we fight, huh?” Iolaus put up his fists.

“Iolaus…“

“Well we don’t exactly have any hydras wandering around—“

“Iolaus…“

“But we could make some! Out of sheets and stuff. Show the kids how to coordinate to avoid the heads and burn—“

“IOLAUS!”

“WHAT?”

“Bullies.”

“Bullies?”

“That’s what all the monsters are in the end, aren’t they?”

“So?”

“How many of these kids are going to meet hydras or Cyclopes or Bacchae?

“Well…”

“Most of them won’t. They need to know that not all ‘monsters’ are bad. Echidna, M-Morrigan, Typhoon—“

“All right, all right, I get it.”

“And not all humans are good.”

“You definitely don’t need to list all those names.”

“The point is that these kids need to recognize when a supposedly good person does something bad and how to handle that. They need to defend themselves with awareness, with words, with confidence, more than they’ll need to defend themselves with their fists.”

“That’s…surprisingly astute. And so very you.”

“Is it really that surprising?”

“Never mind that. So what do we do for the kids, oh wise one?”

Hercules rolled his eyes. “You be Xena. I’ll be a bully.”

“You couldn’t be a bully if you tried.”

“I’ll pretend to be a bully.”

“Still not convinced.”

“I can be a bully just as well as you can be Xena.”

“Ouch, Herc. Words hurt, you know.”

“Exactly.”

“…I see what you did there.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Fine then. We should probably, you know. Have the bully want something on a kid’s level. Most kids don’t want to murder each other for territory.”

“Most.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“No, I’m mean and I want your boots.”

“Ha! Haha. Ha.”

“What? That doesn’t work?”

“No, it does. I just hope these kids have enough imagination to make your performance believable.”

“Why are we doing this again?”

“Because we want these girls to grow up into the good guys.”

“Ah, right.”

“Come on, let’s get some food. We can’t discuss details on an empty stomach.”

“You can’t discuss anything with a mouth full of chicken.”

“We’ve known each other too long for you to say such lies.”

“That’s true. I apologize.”

“Me being your hero and all, and this is the thanks I get.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“You didn’t say it with feeling.”

Hercules sighed. “Your dinner’s on me tonight.”

“You’re the best, Herc.”

“You know, this whole thing for the girls really was a good idea, Iolaus. I’ll give you that much.”

“Yeah, I know. You know what would make it better?”

“What?”

“You could dress up like Gabri—“

“No.” 


End file.
